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It comes as a shock to many couples who realize that everyone around them wants to plan their wedding. If you are not assertive enough, people you hardly know could end up being the main wedding planners, a development that could easily set you up to fail. Imagine planning to get Jacob Mercari custom engagement rings only for a coworker you hardly talk to, to insist that they know some jewelry shop where they believe you can get the engagement rings at a cheaper price.

Soon enough, you find yourself wishing you never told them anything about your love life and your plans for a wedding. While there will always be people around us who wants to have a say in the way we do our weddings, you owe it to yourself to make sure your wedding is a reflection of your wishes and the wishes of the person you love. And it is OK to not invite some people to your wedding or involve them in any of your wedding plans. Just find a courteous way of telling them no.

I sat down with a number of wedding planners and asked them about wedding invitations and the type of people any bride or groom should avoid having at their wedding. Here is a list from that conversation:

Avoid “drama-centric” individuals

All the wedding planners I talked to, agreed on this one. Your wedding guest list should be void of anyone big on drama. While there is no problem with having a person that enjoys dancing and singing at the top of their voices, avoid the kind of people who thrive in shifting attention at any gathering from everything else to themselves.

Your wedding day should have only two stars: you and your better half. It is especially important to keep away everyone with a negative vibe; someone who will bring down the spirits of all in attendance. Family drama and friendship politics should have no place on your wedding day.

Your bitter ex

The wedding planners couldn’t unanimously agree with this point. While some thought that having an ex with whom you have a bitter past is a bad omen for your wedding, others thought inviting them might help them realize you are gone and that they should move on with their lives the way you have.

Those who support sending an invitation to ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends say that as long as their presence won’t ruin your day or shift your focus from enjoying the most important day of your life, then by all means invite them. On the other hand, those opposed to this said you will be putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation. In any case, chances are that your ex is just as interested in skipping your wedding as you are in not inviting them.

Co-workers who are not your friends in real life

Many couples feel pressured to include everyone they work with to their wedding guest list. This is unnecessary, my panel of wedding planners agreed as much. Remember, you are not putting up a show, you are planning to celebrate the love of your life with family and friends. For the sake of your sanity and peace of mind, don’t turn your wedding day into another workday.